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Wednesday, June 13, 2012
12:00 AM | Posted by Marnee Bailey | | Edit Post
*The camera zooms in on Captain Jack Sparrow as he shifts on a stool in the center of a large room. He eyes a St. Andrew’s Cross leaning against the wall and a table of sex toys next to it. A lovely woman sits across from him, an open smile on her face, completely at ease. Marnee scurries over and hands Jack a stack of index cards, waving excitedly at Roni Loren.*
Marnee: Here you go, Jack. Now, please. For the love of God, please. Just read from the cards.
Jack: Of course, love. Just like always.
Marnee: But you never just read from the cards.
Jack: *eyes table next to the cross* Is that a whip? Because you know I’m a pacifist. It’s my religion.
Marnee: *waves her hand dismissively.* It’s a flogger. And don’t talk about religion. You’re not fooling anyone. Now, remember, the cards.
Jack: *eyes still on the table.* Where are we?
Marnee: We’re at The Ranch, a major setting in Ms. Loren’s novels. It’s an exclusive resort where all your sexual fantasies can be fulfilled.
Jack: *sniffs indignantly, sitting up straighter.* Not all sexual fantasies, obviously. I’ve never been here before.
Marnee: Right. How silly of me.
Jack: Must I remove my clothes?
Marnee: No! No no. You’re just here for an interview.
Jack: I’m happy to oblige, you know. In the name of fantasies and the like. *Glances at the table again* But, I will insist upon a strictly non-painful approach. I’m a lover, not a, well, not a lover of pain.
Marnee: *Pats his arm* Yes, we know, Jack. Thank you. I’m sure they’ll let you know if that’s necessary. *Points to the stack of questions.* Remember. Cards.
Jack: *giving Marnee his most charming smile.* Of course. I live for these cards. How could I possibly do these interviews without you fine wenches and these incredibly helpful and informative index cards?
*Marnee rolls her eyes and smiles apologetically at their guest before scurrying off to join the rest of the pirates on a set of couches nearby.*
*Jack clears his throat and smiles his most charming smile at the camera*
Jack: Good morning and welcome to another Incomparable Interview with the Incomparable Captain Jack Sparrow. *gesticulates wildly with his hands, gives the best impression of a bow he can manage while seated.* Today, we welcome the lovely Roni Loren, whose most recent novel, Still Into You, was released last week from Berkley Heat. Her next novel, Melt Into You, will be out in July. Welcome, Ms. Loren.
*Jack leans forward and takes Ms. Loren’s hand, trailing kisses along her palm*
Marnee: Jack! Just read!
Jack: Right. Cards. *Shuffles stack in hand, muttering* So wordy, these wenches…. Ah, here we are then. Ms. Loren, please tell us a little something about your most recent releases.
Roni: Well, STILL INTO YOU is about Leila and Seth, a married couple who love each other but realize that over time, they’ve lost the spark between them. After Seth finds out his wife was tempted to cheat, he takes drastic measures to save their marriage. He takes her...*ponders how best to explain this to a pirate*, he takes her captive and brings her here to a fantasy resort to give her three days off from marriage vows. But he plans on showing her that she doesn’t need anyone but him to fulfill her fantasies.
Jack: Captive, you say? That has some real promise. *glances at cards again, forehead wrinkled.* It says here that your books are a series, the Loving On The Edge series. Why “On The Edge”? *Lifts head, fingering his cutlass.* I hope not like the edge of a plank? Because I assure you, I’ve done that and there is nothing sexy about it.
Roni: *smiles* No planks, but as you can see there are ropes, floggings, and restraints. Come to think of it, a pirate would probably be quite popular here at The Ranch.
Jack: *with a roguish grin* I assure you, I'm quite popular everywhere. I am the Incomparable Captain...
Marnee: *cuts him off* JACK!
Jack: Right. So, tell me, when do you plan to write about pirates?
Jack: *holds his hands up* Love, I know sometimes I ask this question and it’s not relevant but I assure you, it fits here. Pirates tie people up too, you know.
*Marnee’s palm meets her forehead*
Roni: Well, my heroines sometimes have capture fantasies so a pirate scene might fit right in. *discreetly passes Jack an invitation to spend a night at The Ranch* Be sure to wear the outfit.
Jack: *under his breath* You like the outfit? I am quite dashing, no? *louder* And what about ships? The ocean? Any of that in your future books?
Roni: Not much open water here in North Texas so that might be a bit tougher to work in.
Jack: Huh. Pity, that. Well, the wenches here love to hear a good call story. Can you tell us about The Call and your journey to publication? *In stage whisper* It’ll help them forget about the pirate question.
Roni: I queried two books before CRASH INTO YOU. One was a YA (I know, big jump) and the other a category contemporary romance. While I was waiting to hear back on the second one, I got an idea that could only be written as an erotic romance. I decided to write it, figuring no one would probably ever see it. But when I finished it, a fellow blogger/writer, Natalie Bahm, contacted me to tell me her agent (Sara Megibow of Nelson Literary) was looking to sign more romance writers. Natalie had read some of my writing on my blog and offered to give me a referral. Sara was already on my wishlist, so I sent her my first three chapters. A few days later, she requested the full, a week after that, she offered me representation. One of the best days ever. :)
Jack: That does sound exciting. And what are you working on now? Can you tell us a little more about what you’ve got coming in the future?
Roni: I’m currently working on book four in the Loving on the Edge series. Right now the series has four full length and two novellas planned, so it’s keeping me busy. Next up is my second novel, MELT INTO YOU, which is a BDSM menage story that comes out July 3rd. :)
Jack: Well then, that was a lovely interview. *Glances at the couch where Marnee is gesturing madly. Squints while he reads her lips.* Oh, right. Do you have any questions for us? Or anything else you’d like to discuss today? *Smiles at Ms. Loren.* I assure you, these ladies will talk about anything.
Roni: I think I better quit while I’m ahead. But, Jack, if you ever want to stop by my blog and be my Boyfriend of the Week, you’re more than welcome. *peeks at archives* Oops, seems we've already had a dalliance. Forgive me. So many men, so few weeks--my memory fails me at times.
Jack: *grins broadly* I would be happy to visit again, though. Anytime. I endeavor to make myself available to my fans. After all, there is only one Incomparable Captain Jack....
Jack: Yes. Fine then. *scowls at Marnee but turns a smile back to Ms. Loren.* Thank you again for coming and for inviting us to this lovely, er, place. *Tosses the cards behind him and smiles at the camera.* So, it's to you, ladies and gentlemen. If you have any questions for Ms. Loren, please leave them. She'll be by to chat with us today.
Roni Loren wrote her first romance novel at age fifteen when she discovered writing about boys was way easier than actually talking to them. Since then, her flirting skills haven’t improved, but she likes to think her storytelling ability has. Though she’ll forever be a New Orleans girl at heart, she now lives in Dallas with her husband and son.
If she’s not working on her latest sexy story, you can find her reading, watching reality television, or indulging in her unhealthy addiction to rockstars, er, rock concerts. Yeah, that's it. She is the National Bestselling Author of The Loving on the Edge series from Berkley Heat. Website: www.roniloren.com