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Sunday, January 30, 2011
7:01 PM | Posted by Maureen | | Edit Post
Party on the Revenge!
The deck of the Revenge, the wee hours of of January 31st. A tall, thin pirate comes aboard, trailed by a motley crew of vagabonds and hired help. Captain Hellion steps forward from the shadows around her cabin.
-“Barbossa. I see you brought the workmen.” She eyes the raggedly group and sneers. “We have better.”
-“I’m sure, but I don’t have yer charms now, do I?” He lifts an eyebrow at her. “And all yer smooth skinned lovelies be warming the bunks of the officers. This be scrub work, I brought scrubs.”
- Hellion laughs, “True and my treat is waiting in the cabin. Don’t damage my ship, Barbossa.”
- “Chance has made it plain the details ta make this party fer her alter ego…or would that be original ego?” He looked up at the tied up sails and tilts his head, then shakes it. “It don’t matter. The author be spoken fer, the bartender be where me sights are set. We’ll do this right! No fear. Where be the tender Chance?”
- Hellion gestures toward the lights of Tortuga. “The Liquor Barn and then I think Ye Olde Bev Mo. She’s gonna buy out their rum stores.”
- “She knows her audience!” He grins and licks his lips. He’ll be thirsty before dawn appears.
- The Captain comments over her shoulder as she heads back into her cabin. “Maureen likely be showing up around 9am. Make sure those nasty lads be off my ship by then.”
- “Hellion, dearest? The rope is a bit tight…” The lilting tones of Captain Sparrow waft from her cabin. Barbossa sneers.
- “Coming, Jack!” Hellion disappears and the door slams shut. He hears the snick of a lock. As if he’d be interested in intruding. Sparrow, ugh!
- Barbossa looks out at Tortuga. “Wonder how she’ll get all that rum aboard?”
Hours later, the bunting is up, the bungee cord is secured to the tip of the main yardarm, the tables all spread with fire retardant cloth. The sound system is fully rigged for the renowned singer coming from Florida with the Coral Reefer Band. Until his arrival, a steel drum band is ready at the bow. Below, a full orchestra is set up for those who were looking to waltz and enjoy other delights in the dark recesses of the cavernous TARDIS-like hold of the Revenge.
Chance’s bar was expanded, every bit of silver and crystal shining fit to blind the crew as they come on deck and the morning sun hits the shelves.
Barbossa was beginning to wonder when Chance would make her appearance. The ship rocked violently and he took a step back as tentacles rose on each side of the ship. He cursed, then gaped as one by one, crates of liquor were deposited without a broken bottle in sight on the deck. A moment later, Chance slid down a tentacle to land near the bar. She grinned, turned to the sea and called out, “Thanks! I know Maureen is looking to make an entrance! You get over to Monterey and fetch her!” The bartender turned to survey the preparations.
-“I knew I could depend on ya, Hector. Looks good. Help me unpack the Kraken Rum, will ya?”
- He snorted before stepping forward and wrapping arms around her. “First, a kiss.”
- “You brushed yer teeth lately?” she asked warily.
- “Brushed, flossed and straightened per yer instructions. I even visited the skin doctor ya recommended. Now, kiss me!”
She laughed and enthusiastically kissed him before putting him back to work.
The crew rise with their assorted hotties and wander onto their transformed deck. Chance pops up from behind the bar, straightening her hair and adjusting her bustier. A moment later, Barbossa slides to the front, tucking his shirt into his breaches.
Chance clears her throat. “Morning! Crew! Guests! Gate crashers! Everyone is welcome! I have an assortment of Kraken Rum drinks. The blender is set for margaritas, another for daiquiris, the trays have no calorie chocolate bombs, the richest of pastries lighter than air and later, we have more substantial goodies to serve.”
She climbs to the top of the bar and hollers. “HEY! LISTEN UP! OUR GUEST OF HONOR SHOULD BE ARRIVING ANY MOMENT! MY REAL WORLD PERSONA AND WRITER OF EXTRAORDINARY PIRATE ADVENTURES…MAUREEN O. BETITA!”
The crowd looks around expectantly. Nothing happens.
“I SAID MAUREEN O. BETITA! … NOOOOOOOW!!!!”
A steel drum roll comes from the bow as a massive swell raises the ship. The crowd fights to keep their feet as a neverending tentacle rises from the starboard. Eyes rise to follow it as it goes up and up and up! Twice as tall as the tallest mast. It wavers a moment, then the very tip opens up to reveal…
The author! She spreads her arms and bellows. “I’M HERE!”
The crowd roars! She bows and laughs madly as the tentacle sweeps her off her feet and she slides down the spiraling slide to the deck. She lands with a leap and sweeps a drink from Chance’s hands, downs it in three great gulps, and shouts with gayety, “LET THE PARTY BEGIN!”
The Kraken’s Mirror went on sale at the stroke of midnight, at Decadent Publishing. This wild story features second chances, albino kraken, pirates, curses, time travel, a touch of zombies, some waltzing vampires and a Tortuga straight from my wild mind, with the help and inspiration of every member of the crew. I dedicate this book to… The Romance Writers Revenge!
Thank you to Decadent Publishing, to my editor, Kate Richards, my agent, Saritza Hernandez and all who have told me I am insane and this will never sell. So there!
Spend the day celebrating with me, we will be drinking, dancing, laughing and making mischief all day and into the night!
And I will give away three copies of my book to three random commenters, electronic for now. When the print version is released, I may do this all over again! Any excuse for a party! Let me know, what would you like to see at the print release bash? And who did you bring to the party with you? All characters welcome, btw! Well, no preaching teetotalers...
Labels: Loader's Logic (2nd Chance)