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In honor of May Day and the Everlovin’ Maypole
Wink, wink…nudge, nudge…
*tra la la la la, la la la la, tra la la la la la!
“What is that annoying bit of singing?” Hellion looked up from her morning paper, glaring at the deck.
“Chance is singing something ‘bout the month of May,” Terrio replied. “She’s got our pilot up against the mast, too.”
“That makes sense, the tra la la-ing don’t.” Hellion focused on Chance, ten feet up the main mast, fastening long strands of bright colored ribbons so that they fell to the deck, pooling about the form of Deuce, naked and tied to the mast. “She’s got a naked man at the mast and she’s fussing with ribbon?”
“Said something about a maypole?” Sin loitered in the ratlines. “And dancing, something about dancing.”
The rest of the crew was drawn toward the main deck, wondering what the mad bartender was about…
Time to talk about the mighty mast, fellow crew members and guests. Today be Beltane and the prime holiday ta celebrate the male member. As a writer, I’m always lookin’ fer the right words, the right descriptions, the divine way to speak of a man’s…ahem…mast.
I shocked me mate, Lady Jane, a few weeks back when I revealed the truth. The maypole is a stand in for the prick. And the ladies dancing about the maypole be all ‘bout celebrating that appendage. She were in denial. Jane-o, yer writin’ erotica, face the facts.
When I first snuck aboard the Revenge, we was debating the Glittery Hooha. What be the secret of creating such a magnetic attraction when we write? Why do some disco queens win the glittery ball and some don’t… And is that bit… ah, woman somethin’ ta admire or not? Well, today, we got the partner ta the Hooha. Crew, I present the Maypole!
Deuce understands the importance of a compass when navigatin’ the waters a’ romance, suspense, comedy… He be a pilot, and a fine one at that.
No matter what ya call it, the compass… I like that, the compass rose and the needle that dances about it. Hmmmm.
Sorry, got distracted there. I also likes the Mighty Mast, the Maypole. I be free wit’ the words I use when writin’ me pirate opus. I be fond a’ prick. And got no argument with cock…
Celebrate Beltane, crew. I be bringin’ out all the special bottles and plan on mixing a counterpart ta the Glittery Hooha. I picked me up a lovely bit a pirate swag over the years and I want ta share. I’m gonna draw a winner from the comments and send a prize yer way. I gots enough swag, I may send off several bits a’ swag.
I know it ain’t about the appendage itself, but the man behind the staff. Jus’ as it ain’t the Glittery Hooha but that woman…I hope it be ‘bout the woman. How does an author create a Mighty Mast and not make the man nothin’ more than a mighty jerk? Any favorites out there? Be fearless, it be Friday, May Day, Beltane. Celebrate the day, dance about the Maypole, figuratively or…
*Glancing at the mast, where the crew be admirin’ Deuce, teasing ‘im with the ribbon. A spell be cast, the dancin’ begins… Merry May, all!